Positive Reinforcement

As you can imagine, Ron and I are feverishly trying to train Rosie. Train her to go outside when she wants to po or pee. Train her to stay in our yard not the neihbor's flowers. Train her not to jump on us. Train her not to bark. You know what I mean she has a lot to learn.

To make the job easier we even bought Pet Life extra smart training treats. Every time she does her duty outside we praise her, "Good girl," in a sugary voice and give her a treat. Being the older sister who we don't want to feel displaced, Daisy gets a treat just for being there. When she starts to run away we call, "Good girl, good girl." If she comes we give her a treat -positive reinforcement. But I really have to wonder who is being trained? If she doesn't want a treat, she just keeps going and we chase after her.

In the early eighties when our son was born, positive reinforcement was the newest child rearing fad. We were praising our children for doing things they were suppose to do. Giving them stickers for behavior that should have been expected.

Our daughter Sara was not too thrilled when her brother was born. (She could have taken a lesson from Daisy.) She always seemed to be doing something to him that she shouldn't be doing. Today, I could not name one thing she did to him but I know she did, and it was bad. The reason I know it was bad is I somehow convinced Ron to go to a parenting class. It was a positive reinforcement class that was being sponsored by Hamot Medical Center. The fact that Ron agreed to go sit in a class for several weeks is proof we were concerned about her behavior.

After the first couple sessions, I stayed after class to ask the instructor a question that I was embarrassed to ask in front of the other parents. There was a short line of parents who also had questions they did not want to ask in front of the group. When it was my turn I asked,"What if the child never does what you want her to? What if she is never nice to her brother?"

Apparently, they had heard this question before. They had the perfect answer, "Praise her before she has a chance to do anything mean like when she wakes up from her nap."

Wow! I was impressed. It was the perfect plan. I would put it into action the next day.

The following morning when she got out of bed I said, "You are such a good girl. You haven't hurt your brother today." This comment was followed by a morning of her usual shenanigans, then I put her to bed for her nap. When she got up from her nap, I praised her again for not hurting her brother.

She looked me right in the eye and said, "What are you up to?"

I'm a little suspicious that Rosie may be thinking the same thing when we say, "Good girl!" and give her a treat. That is when she wants a treat more than the neighbor's flowers.